Why I've been radio silent on Top Chef

Regular readers of FSTS will know that almost every year I opine on my favorite reality series, Top Chef...

...and there has been a noted absence of musings this year.

Well, let me explain.

Reason 1: Late last year I gave up my TV, and my viewings of the show have been spotty. (As of last night, I'm pretty much caught up.)

Reason 2: I was skeptical from the get-go about this season because the Washington DC food scene is fairly mediocre. (At least that's what I hear from friends who live there.)

One of the things that last season had going for it was that Las Vegas was a very interesting location, restaurant-wise. The greatest restaurateurs in the world (from Jean Georges Vongerichten to Mario Batali) had opened eateries, all of which are excellent according to trusted foodies I know who have dined there.

It was part of the fun of watching. You want to peek inside great kitchens, meet the great chefs and see great food. Unfortunately, DC really doesn't have that.

Reason 3: This has been a really uninspired group.

Last season was probably the best batch of contestants that Top Chef ever had, and maybe any group of chefs was going to suffer by way of comparison, but what the hell happened? Kelly and Angelo seem like the only ones who are semi-serious chefs. (Maybe Ed, too. But I have grown skeptical upon reading Robert Sietsema's takedown of Plein Sud in the Voice.)

I think if, say, Eli, from last season (who finished fifth!) was in this group there is no question he would be Top Chef.

This has left your humble schlub with almost no one to root for.

I suppose Kelly most fits in with who I usually like (intelligent and quietly creative), but she also looks like she's had a couple of near cataclysmic fuck-ups. (I'm sort of rooting for Amanda ((pictured)) simply on the basis of the fact that she's a mega-babe.)

Reason 4: Last night they got rid of the only reason to watch.

I'm talking, of course, about Alex.

Every season there is at least one villain. One person who's unbearably shmucky, someone utterly talentless, someone who drives everyone else crazy, but who manages to place second worst in every single elimination challenge.

Alex fit that role perfectly!

- He seems to have stolen Ed's pea puree. (Although, I'm hestiant to commit myself to his guilt. If he hadn't stolen it, I think Alex would be a lot more indignant about the accusation. But I'm also sure there was a lot of creative editing on this show. The producers could have just decided it would be a much better story to hide the footage of him actually making the pea puree... and they'd be right.)

- He was an utter shithead to his waitstaff in the kitchen during restaurant wars.

- He had the fecklessness of a Spike or a Robin (other chefs who skated through elimination challenges by the skin of their teeth). I mean, he's a chef in a restaurant and he doesn't know how to butcher a piece of meat, or debone a fish?

The collective hatred of Alex was the one thing that was sort of interesting. Now that's gone. I'm not sure I'll finish the season out.

Five reasons why this season of Top Chef is going to rock

Reasons 1 through 4 are these:

The contestants.

Last night was episode two of Top Chef Las Vegas. And it's become blindingly obvious that this crop of cheftestants are vastly superior to last season's.

And it makes for much more enjoyable viewing.

Part of the reason that you watch a show like TC is to watch all the catfighting reality TV elements.... and the other part is to watch food porn. Nothing last season was all that exciting. This season, however, the food looks awesome. Thank you, cheftestants.

As for the cheftestants...

1) Jennifer Carroll.

I think she's probably the odds on favorite to win this. So far, she hasn't had any missteps. But more than that, she runs Eric Ripert's Philadelphia restaurant. You don't get to that place unless you're exceedingly talented. She looks like she is. Moreover, she's hot. While this, in and of itself, is not a qualifier, I think the judges are going to go a little easier on her at judge's table. (And she would be the first hot chef to win TC!)

2) Kevin Gillespie.

Because I'm a snob, I was immediately intrigued to learn that Kevin turned down a scholarship at MIT to become a chef. The fact that he's tattooed and bearded makes him all the more badass in my eyes. He's one won elimination challenge and was one of the runner-ups in the quickfire. I put him at number two to win this.

3) The Voltaggio brothers.

It was a nice touch, putting two brothers together. The producers tried this two years ago by putting a lesbian couple on the show. It didn't quite work (perhaps because they were rooting for eachother a bit much). But these brothers seem to have a nice (but friendly) rivalry going. And the odd thing is that they seem to be eachother's equal (at least at this point) in terms of cooking. And, yes, they look exceptionally talented! Michael won the quickfire, Bryan won the elimination challenge. (Which Michael was runner up on.) Either of them seem to be Jennifer or Kevin's equal.

4) Ashley Merriman.

I don't think she's in the running for this... there are at least two others that I think look like they have a better shot than she does. But she's got edge. She has some talent. And (even though she ain't interested in my type) she's sexy as hell. I think she's going to make this season interesting -- even if it's in an eye-rolling-what-a-schmuck-sort-of-way. (I mean, because gay marriage doesn't exist, that means marriage isn't a happy occasion? What was that about?)

5) Padma.

Is it me, or is she getting hotter?