Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Matchmaker, Matchmaker… Hoping To Stave Off the Valentine’s Day Blues, the Hapless Jewish Writer Seeks Professional Help

Valentine’s Day can summon terrible sadness in Hapless Jews. Last Valentine’s Day, the Hapless Jewish Writer spent the day despairing over his ex.

The Hapless Jewish Writer’s girlfriend ended their relationship at an Indian restaurant December 7 — a date that will live in infamy.

“I love you,” his treacherous blonde-haired vixen declared. “I’m just not in love with you.”

Now that’s cold.

In fact they were the exact same words that Elizabeth Shue said to Woody Allen in “Deconstructing Harry” — a film that the HJW and his girlfriend had watched a few weeks earlier.