Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Weeper of the house

All right, here are three reasons why John Boehner's recent crying jags are unbearable.

(1) They're extremely vain.

When he cried on election night, he wasn't crying because the GOP had won some sort of great victory or because it was an affirmation of GOP values or some other such nonsense.

"I spent my whole life chasing the American dream," he said, his voice cracking.

So this is all about you, John? This is your moment? Please spare us.

(2) They're kinda phony.

Not that I believe that Boehner is faking it on his 60 Minutes interview. (It looks way too lame to be faked.) Nor do I believe he was faking it when he wept at getting a pro-life award. Or when he watches a child give the pledge of allegiance. (Both true.)

But he's crying about hokum symbols of Americana and religion.

Has Speaker-elect Boehner ever cried at, oh, say actual human misery? When he was shouting "Hell no!" to healthcare reform earlier this year, did he shed any tears over people who are denied insurance coverage? Or who go into bankruptcy because they can't pay their medical bills?

(3) It's so lame.

Didn't anybody ever tell this guy that the term "crybaby" is not a positive thing?

And (this is only partially tongue-in-cheek) are we really entrusting this much power in a guy who can't keep it together for a Lesley Stahl interview?

What. A. Baby.