Best possible outcome... for New York, anyway

Obviously, this liberal schlub was disappointed by yesterday's election results in New Jersey and Vriginia. (I wasn't too surprised about Virginia, but even though I knew it was going to be tight in Jersey, I figured there was no way my neighbors to the south could pull the lever for an asshole as big as Chris Christie.)

But I was pleasantly surprised that Doug Hoffman was defeated in upstate NY by what's-his-face.

The bigger surprise was that the race for mayor was so close -- and this was also a pleasant one.

I took the coward's way out and decided not to vote yesterday -- this was for reasons I've already specifed, as well as several new ones:

1) I was getting really sick of the way Bloomberg was throwing money at this election. There was something imperious about it. Who could hope to compete if Bloomberg could just drown his opposition in his own outsized fortune?

2) During the debate with Bill Thompson, Bloomberg said that he'd support a Giuliani run for governor. While this was certainly just an ass-covering gesture, this was something that rankled deeply.

3) Bill Thompson hadn't earned my vote. Thompson is from a political family who's been groomed for this office forever. But lord only knows if he can run a city. No matter what else you have to say about Bloomberg, he proved he can at least do the job.

4) Bloomberg was going to win big, anyway.

Well, it turns out Reason # 4 was way off. A landslide turned into a squeaker. And when the outcome looked in doubt I seriously started to worry and began feeling that my reasons for not supporting Bloomberg were fairly petty.

But I think it turned out very well, in the end. (Although I probably would have never forgiven myself for not voting if Thompson had won.) Bloomberg was knocked (ever so gently) off his perch. Voters sent a message that maybe you can buy an election -- but we're not happy about it. (If Thompson had better political skills, he might really have won.) But we still have Bloomberg running things.

All in all, that was the best outcome I could have hoped for.

No third term -- vote for Burns!

For those of you who have grown weary of New York's endlessly frustrating political process, I offer one candidate who has been untouched by all the muck and mud of your hometown's political bickering.

I speak, of course, of one Charles Montgomery Burns, who has recently launched a campaign for mayor.

Check out the video on the web site.

I have no idea who's behind this campaign. But their slogan is "No third term -- vote for Burns!" Which, I take it, is a stick in Mayor Bloomberg's eye.

Hizzoner is someone I have mixed feelings about. I didn't vote for him the first time he ran -- I voted for Mark Green instead. But I sort of regretted it instantly. I didn't vote for him the second time because of three reasons:

a) I thought the West Side Stadium was ludicrous. (Although that issue has been thankfully taken off the table.)

b) I thought his invitation to the GOP to hold their convention in NYC in 2004 handed George W. Bush his reelection. (Although, in fairness to Bloomie, he also offered the Democrats the city for their convention. The schmucks didn't take it.)

c) He not only accepted but actively sought the endorsement of Lenora Fulani and Fred Newman, two Lyndon LaRouche supporting cultish nuts -- and Bloomberg gave Fulani's All Stars Project a hefty sum of tax payer money by way of thanks.

All of which made him disqualified for my vote, as I looked at it.

But I recently had an epiphany... Mike Bloomberg has been the best Mayor of New York in my lifetime -- by a lot. He's a hell of a lot better than Giuliani, David Dinkins, Ed Koch or Abe Beame. While he hasn't been everything I've wanted in a mayor, he's been a pretty decent one. (Faint praise? Perhaps.)

And while I thought there was something imperial and outrageous about changing the rules midstream to allow himself to run for a third term, I generally think term limits are a dumb idea.

I'm still on the fence about who I'm going to vote for. But I'm glad there's a third alternative in Monty Burns. Given his contempt for hippies and Staten Island, this is the sort of campaign I feel I can get behind!

(Hat tip, curbed.)