Apparently, the Mouth ain't all talk

Of course, the stories of the insane bets that degenerate poker players have made over the years are legion. There are great stories about the kind of batshit crazy stuff that Stuey Ungar used to bet on. (He was a notoriously bad gambler at everything except poker. Could easily drop $50,000 on the golf course.)

But it's always nice to hear the tales of the new generation, and Michael Kaplan (who I sort of know) has a terrific story in the Times about the recent spate of lunatic bets being made in Las Vegas.

I was very impressed; apparently Mike "The Mouth" Matusow recently went from 241 pounds down to 181 pounds to win a $100,000 bet. If Ted Forrest wants to bet me $100,000 that I can't get down to 181 in one year, I'll seriously consider taking him up on it.

Upping the Ante: Poker Night Is for Real Men

For a while the Hapless Jewish Writer nursed the delusion that he was not a bad poker player. You might say it began one night in Israel, when he relieved his Israeli and American co-players of more than a hundred shekels (about $25). He was euphoric.

As it turns out, it shouldn’t have surprised the HJW that he could beat Israelis. Most Israelis lack the essential component for poker success: subtlety. Still, the HJW — easily lulled into cocksure arrogance — became convinced of his mastery of poker. Whenever the subject came up he would say, beaming with pride, “You know, I’m actually an excellent poker player.”

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Haplessly Turning the Tables on a Poker Ace

The Hapless Jewish Writer once lost $50 in less than five minutes, playing Texas Hold’em.

The loss occurred at a somewhat sketchy underground poker room that was run by Orthodox Jews in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn and featured free punch and Hydrox cookies. The HJW asked for $50 in poker chips (the lowest amount they were willing to give him), sat down and played two hands before another player put all his chips on the table and declared, “I’m going all in.”

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