Glenn Beck = Eric Cartman?

This week South Park set their scopes on Glenn Beck with their Dances With Smurfs episode.

I hate to admit it, but I was slightly disappointed.

It was sort of a good idea to have Eric Cartman become a radio personality (which is, when you think about it, something he would be very well suited for later in life).

But the whole smurf theme seemed pretty strained -- and not very funny. Plus, the impression didn't seem quite as jarringly accurate as Jon Stewart's Beck impression last week.

And, truthfully, having Cartman attack student government didn't feel nearly grand enough for him. The Eric Cartman I know has plans that are much bigger than South Park Elementary. Why wasn't he launching some sort of all out attack on the Jews? Or blacks? Or one of his other favorite targets?

But the truth is, while Cartman might be eerily similar to Rush Limbaugh, I don't think the same holds true with Glenn Beck.

For one thing, Cartman is a lot smarter than Beck.

Glenn Beck is a deeply stupid individual. He has no sense of history. He doesn't know what terms like communism and socialism really mean. He fully embraces what Richard Hofstadter called the "paranoid style of American politics." And, apparently, he doesn't know how to spell.

While Cartman has no interest in educating himself, he's not a stupid person at all. In fact, he's wildly creative.

For another, Cartman is a lot more sincere than Glenn Beck.

I'm not sure what Beck really believes. I suspect his panic and weeping is largely for the cameras. He's got an extremely profitable television persona -- why not go with it? When he gave an interview to (I think) Katie Couric a couple of weeks ago he said that he thought Obama would have been a better choice for president than John McCain. Does he really believe that? Who knows.

But one thing about Cartman is: he's perfectly sincere. He deeply believes in his antisemitism. He seethes with hatred against blacks. He loves to taunt Mexicans.

And there's something sort of admirable about how fully he embraces these things. Say what you will about the disgusting nature of Cartman's beliefs -- they're real. It's one of the reasons he's the strongest character on South Park. And he follows through with the warped logic of these ideas: Mel Gibson hates Jews, therefore Jews are loathsome, therefore I must exterminate the Jews. And Cartman goes all out to enact these plans -- usually in far more creative and amusing ways than one would think.

In short, Parker and Stone shouldn't have to degrade Cartman by comparing him to the far lesser Glenn Beck.

"You mocked the economy!"

This week's South Park was one of the most interesting takes I've seen thus far about our economic crisis.

For one thing, it was shockingly unassailable in terms of the economics involved.

It explains the way banks split up and played around with debt in a way that's extremely accurate.

But the more interesting thing is the fact that it pretty much points its finger at American consumerism as the primary culprit in this crisis. Which is -- I think -- essentially true. Obviously, there were many culprits. Not the least of which were bankers who took on way too much debt that they either assumed a) was far more sound than it was (which means they were stupid) or b) assumed was toxic, but figured they'd sell while the market was still good (which means they're stinkers).

But a greater cause of the crisis, I think, was a general attitude that money would be free flowing forever; that we could spend without consequence. That we'd all be rich just by living in our houses.

Yes, the primary culprits might be on Wall Street -- and a wild-eyed faith in the wisdom of markets and the evils of regulation -- but, when you look in the mirror unblinkingly, the American people allowed this to happen.

And in this sense, this week's South Park was a terrific indictment of that.

Moreover, it's a terrific indictment of how unknowable the crisis is. You might as well throw darts at a board (or cut off a chicken's head and take where its caracas lands as a sign of something) to come up with the worth of any real assets. The real world value of everything from houses to cars to blenders is a giant black hole right now.

The solution the show seems to proffer, however, seems pretty much in line with that of the Obama Administration: We need some sort of fiscal stimulus, and we'll worry about debt later. (Which is the Econ 101 solution.) And what's inhibiting growth is pervasive paranoia. (For good reason, perhaps.)

Of course, Trey Parker and Matt Stone (South Park's co-creators) are Libertarians at heart -- so they could never give Barack Obama credit for essentially taking their track. (Hence, there's a sort of cheap shot at the President at the end of the episode.) Moreover, like all great comedians, they're bomb throwers. Given how beloved Obama is, there is no way they could give the guy credit for anything.

But the episode is nevertheless pretty great.

Sick ass head cooties

One of the all time greatest episodes of South Park was just on, in which Clyde gets head lice.

Naturally, it reminded me (a little bit too much!) of my infamous bedbug experience.

But my favorite line of the episode had to be when Clyde is in the doctor's waiting room and, as he laments his embarrassing fate, a little girl who's also waiting says, "I have an ear infection. Why are you at the doctor's?"

Clyde thinks a moment.

"Uh," he stammers. "I have AIDS."

Sandler 2.0

I'm a little late getting to this, but my friend Daniel Treiman had a pretty funny article in The Forward a few weeks back arguing that Adam Sandler (schlub extraordinare) is, in fact, "the most important living Jewish commentator".

I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you there.

Daniel's thesis is, more or less, that Sandler has done more to make Jewishness (or Israeliness, as is the case in "You Don't Mess with the Zohan") a normal, every day, accepted American thing.

It's true, there's something about Sandler that has penetrated the American psyche. When Eric Cartman was trapped in a robot-suit in Hollywood as "Awesome-o" and he was being asked for movie ideas, every single one seemed to involve Adam Sandler in some way. Did Eric (a fervent antisemite) care about Sandler's Jewishness? Not really. So in that sense, I think Daniel might be on to something...(but most important Jewish commentator? Come on!)

I'd say that Sandler has done as much for schlubs, though, as he has done for Jews.